THE LESSON TO BE LEARENED FROM JALO’S DIVORCE

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Jenifer Lopez recently divorced her 3rd husband, Marc Anthony. JALO is only 43. She has two children with Marc. While according to Ms. Lopez she and Marc “amicably parent” the children, what are the consequences for those kids? They now have two different homes, separate parents, presumably different rules in each household. Moreover, they spent part of their time with one parent and part with the other. They probably are only together as family rarely.

What happens when both the JALO and Marc move on to new relationships, perhaps marry (again) and have new children? (Marc now has 5 children with 3 different women, including JALO) How can any of this be in the best interests of the kids? I know that I would not want to spend every other weekend in a different home. I know I would not want to be away from my friends and home part of the time. Even if the kids have friends where each parent lives, there only with them part of the time.

It might be prudent to take note, when you already have been divorced several times and are only 43, is it might not be wise to marry again and bring children into the world. Maybe you ‘re just not the marrying kind.

THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A FAITHFUL MATE

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The recent divorce of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can give us clues as what to look for when your marriage is on the verge of ending. There are things you can look for even before you tie the knot. But you know that after the knot is tied matters really change.

Do some background checking on your prospective spouse. Know what you are getting into. Married 3-4 time and you want for life – run for the hills. Wandering eyes are a clear indication that there will probably be issues down the road. No access to your partner’s electronic equipment? A control freak? Make serious notes.

Once the knot is tied things go downhill. Who controls the money? How much does your mate earn? Are you allowed to see your family when you want? Does your mate ignore you when you are in the presence of his/her friends and family? Do you share chores? Do you have date nights? Are you constantly being told what to do or not to do? Are you put on an allowance? Are you in love or just love? Are your personal secrets spread to friends and family? These are all things you must consider if you want to have a loving relationship. Talk. Talk. Talk. You must communicate.

Marriage is a partnership. You should not feel as if you are not in control of your life. If you feel that way then you are not in control of you.

HOW YOUR BAD ACTS CAN DESTROY YOUR FAMILY INCLUDING YOUR CHILDREN

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey has reached new heights or more properly lows. The Giudice couple was sentenced to federal prison for wire and bankruptcy fraud. Joe was sentenced to 41 months and must enter an alcoholic treatment program in prison. His wife Teresa was sentenced to 15 months in federal prison. In addition, Joe has to pay $414,588.90 in restitution. The parties have four small daughters. While the parties’ sentences were staggered they will have 56 months of a fractured family. And there is the possibility that Joe may be deported after his sentence. Teresa will serve her sentence first.

The family will have to move from its palatial home and there may be times they will be separated when other family members have to care for some of the children. How do you face your children? What do you teach your children when you commit such acts of greed and dishonesty? These children will probably be uprooted from their schools and friends. Before you think of going down that dark path, think of your children. Do you want them visiting you in prison? Do you want them not to see you for months at a time? Do you want to fracture your family?

Pamela Anderson’s Second Time Filing for Divorce from Rick Salomon

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Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Salomon in Los Angeles, CA on July 3, 2014 citing “irreconcilable differences.”  This is the second time Anderson has filed for divorce from Salomon.  The couple first married in October 2007 then shortly split two months later.  At the time, Anderson cited irreconcilable differences but the marriage was later annulled in March 2008 on the basis of fraud.  The pair initially married in Las Vegas when Anderson had a 90-minute break between magic shows in which Anderson was appearing.

It wasn’t until this past January, Anderson remarried Salomon.  For both parties, this is their third divorce.  Anderson’s representative released the following statement, “We ask the media to please respect Pamela and her family’s privacy during this time.”

Sherri Shepherd’s Parental Rights to Her Unborn Surrogate Child

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According to reports, Sherri Shepherd, actress and former daytime talk show host of The View, does not want any parental rights to her unborn surrogate child who is due on July 28, 2014. Shepherd and her husband, Lamar Sally, each filed separately for divorce after less than three years of marriage. Sally cited irreconcilable differences and seeks full custody of the couple’s unborn child with visitation rights for Shepherd.

Reports just last May indicated Shepherd was fighting to attain physical custody of the couple’s unborn child given their pre-nuptial agreement, which gives Shepherd full physical custody of a newborn child. The agreement further states that in the event of a divorce, Shepherd would have to pay Sally a one lump sum payment of $60,000 based off of her 2010 earnings of $1 million. In comparison, Sally earned $30,000 in 2010, $9,000 of which was derived from unemployment. According to court documents, Sally asks that the pre-nuptial agreement be thrown out on account of fraud.

Now reports are suggesting that Shepherd believes Sally defrauded her into having the child so that he could receive child support, knowing that he would eventually file for divorce. One source says the baby was conceived with Sally’s sperm, but not Shepherd’s egg. Allegedly, Shepherd wants the judge to rule that she has no parental responsibility or rights to the unborn child such that she will not need to make child support payments to Sally.

Shepherd filed for divorce in New Jersey and Sally filed in California. Generally, New Jersey courts only recognize uncompensated gestational surrogacy agreements (where the surrogate mother is not the biological contributor of the egg) and not traditional surrogacy agreements (where the surrogate mother is the biological contributor of the egg). Whereas in California, courts are more accepting of surrogacy agreements. The state in which this case is heard will largely affect the outcome.

Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling’s Marriage is a Work in Progress

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Following Dean McDermott’s public affair with 28-year-old Emily Goodhand, McDermott and his wife, Tori Spelling, have decided to salvage their eight-year marriage for the sake of their four children, Liam, 7, Stella, 6, Hattie, 2, and Finn, 1.  Spelling’s attempt to forgive and McDermott’s attempt to mend their relationship aired on Lifetime’s docu-series True Tori.  A longtime friend of Spellings stated, “Tori feels she owes it to them [the children] to try and work it out with their dad, even though it’s hard.”  Spelling also recently stated on Good Morning America that things are getting better between her and McDermott and that “life is always a work in progress and our relationship is one as well, but we are moving in the right direction.”  Spelling and McDermott are one of many families who are working to keep it together.

Sting’s Children Will Not Inherit His Estimatd $300 Million Worth

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Musical artist Sting indicated his children will not inherit his estimated $300 million worth, as he does not intend to leave his three daughters and three sons a trust fund.  He told the Daily Mail, “I certainly don’t want to leave them trust funds that are albatrosses around their necks.  They have to work.  All my kids know that and they rarely ask me for anything, which I really respect and appreciate.”  Sting is quoted saying, “People make assumptions that they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but they have not been given a lot.”  He told his children, “There won’t be much money left because we’re spending it!”

Untying the Knot

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Bravo’s new television show Untying the Knot stars celebrity divorce lawyer Vikki Ziegler as she works with clients and helps them divide up their assets such as cars, jewelry, family pets, and even a wooden buddah.  In a promo clip, Ziegler will also appear on the Real Housewives of New Jersey giving Dina Manzo some legal advice on her marriage.

Each 30-minute episode focuses on a new couple seeking a divorce and follows them through their struggle divvying up their belongings. Ziegler states that it is her job to make sure that “no one is happy” such that everything is split fair and evenly.

The show airs every Wednesday night at 10/9c on Bravo.

Melanie Griffith Files for Divorce

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Melanie Griffith, 56, recently filed for divorce from Antonia Banderas, 53, citing irreconcilable differences after 18 years of marriage. The couple have a 17 year-old daughter, Stella, whom Griffith seeks primary physical custody and visitation rights for Banderas. Griffith additionally seeks spousal support.

The couple released a joint statement, indicating their decision is amicable, “We have thoughtfully and consensually decided to finalize our almost twenty years marriage in a loving and friendly manner honoring and respecting each other, our family and friends and the beautiful time we have spent together.”

Over the years, Griffith and Banderas endured several hardships including Griffith’s second rehabilitation stay in 2000 for a painkiller addiction, her third rehabilitation stay in 2009 for a “routine plan” and her 2009 surgery to remove early stages of skin cancer from her face.

This marriage was the fourth for Griffith and the second for Banderas who met on the set of “To Much” in 1995. At the time they were both married to other people, but Griffith shortly filed for divorce from Don Johnson with whom she has a daughter, “Fifty Shades of Grey” actress Dakota Johnson. Banderas then split from Ana Leza, a Spanish actress, in 1996 after nine years of marriage. Soon after Giffith and Banderas married and Stella was born in 1996. Griffith also has another child, Alexander, from her previous marriage to Steven Bauer.

Prenuptial Agreements Provide Numerous Benefits

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While NBA star Kobe Bryant may not recognize the numerous benefits of a prenuptial agreement, a host of benefits do exist and warrant consideration.  The initial response of most people is that a prenuptial agreement is something only very wealthy people use to protect their assets. To the contrary, a number of people are executing prenuptial agreements to address a number of financial concerns before they get married.  It must be remembered that a prenuptial agreement may be drafted in such a way as to address the unique circumstances of a given relationship.  Here are a few examples:

Children
One or both prospective spouse may have children from a previous relationship.  A prenuptial agreement will set forth the intentions of each spouse as to how assets may be provided to children from a previous relationship.

 Family Business
This may be the most important reason for a prenuptial agreement, as a family business is typically made up of multiple family members.  In the event of a divorce, a host of disputes may develop and negatively impact a number of people in and out of the family.  A prenuptial agreement can specify a family member’s role in the company and vanquish costly litigation which will impact the fabric of the family and the financial security of the family and the family business.

Subsequent Assets
Individuals who marry later on in life often have established careers built upon years of hard an work before the pending marriage.  Significant assets typically accompany an established career.  A prenuptial agreement can identify with particularity assets which the parties agree are non-marital property.  This may include real estate and retirement accounts.

A mutual agreement of the parties and a “meeting of the minds” before marriage will provide peace of mind and eliminate any potential misunderstanding as to children, a family business and assets acquired prior to marriage.  While a prenuptial agreement may not be for everyone, it is definitely something which ought to be given serious consideration.