The recent divorce of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can give us clues as what to look for when your marriage is on the verge of ending. There are things you can look for even before you tie the knot. But you know that after the knot is tied matters really change.

Do some background checking on your prospective spouse. Know what you are getting into. Married 3-4 time and you want for life – run for the hills. Wandering eyes are a clear indication that there will probably be issues down the road. No access to your partner’s electronic equipment? A control freak? Make serious notes.

Once the knot is tied things go downhill. Who controls the money? How much does your mate earn? Are you allowed to see your family when you want? Does your mate ignore you when you are in the presence of his/her friends and family? Do you share chores? Do you have date nights? Are you constantly being told what to do or not to do? Are you put on an allowance? Are you in love or just love? Are your personal secrets spread to friends and family? These are all things you must consider if you want to have a loving relationship. Talk. Talk. Talk. You must communicate.

Marriage is a partnership. You should not feel as if you are not in control of your life. If you feel that way then you are not in control of you.